A while ago I shared some of my thoughts on women wanting control (see The Vexing and Contentious Woman) with a friend of mine.
Her response: “I don’t have any issues with control.”
Huh? I beg to differ.
She’s one of those passive-aggressive (p-a) types who very quietly let you know EXACTLY who you should be and what you should do.
It’s control by shame and innuendo. Sometimes you aren’t even sure the comments are aimed at you (e.g., “the time for complaining is over,” “it’s a great gift to be content”) — but you feel guilty anyway. Sometimes the pressure is more overt, but still coated in kindness and suggestion.
Know that kind of person? Feel controlled? Yep.
That’s what I call the “gentle and quiet” woman who isn’t so gentle.
Yes. We women all control our little worlds in many ways, loud and soft. Rather than tell more stories, I thought I’d list a few of the ways.
Feel free to add some more in Comments. But don’t you dare disagree! LOL
The many faces of female control:
- The dripping faucet: if I repeat myself often enough, they will hear… and obey
- The withholder: do what I want if you want to get what you want (doesn’t have to be spoken to make the point)
- The victim(a version of the passive-aggressor): oh, woe is me, please
help ME for a change (photo by Simon Law)
- The hinter (another kin of the p-a): “Isn’t it trash night tonight?” “Wow. Look how long the grass is!”
- The after-the-fact slammer: you KNOW when you’ve not obeyed the controller, in a myriad of ways – nasty statements, tears, loud voice, subtle hints (p-a again), payback, put downs, etc. (so, let’s avoid THAT again and do what she says next time…).
- The sex-bucket: the clothes and make up do all the work; might as well put a ring in your nose
Which do you practice?
Which have you experienced?
Got any more to add? Comments, please!!
[Next up: The Essence of Femininity]